Ignite the Promise

Can't Win for Winning!

When one does all the right things in all the right ways and still loses, it's time to rethink! 

Over the years I have collected books that interest me in the consulting area, especially in areas of creativity, innovation, and competitiveness.  As I was scanning my bookshelf, I pulled out a book (now 15 years old) I had not looked at for quite some time.  It is about the reason great firms can fail even as they adopt new technologies.  The Innovator's Dilemma is the title of the book  (The Innovator's Dilemma -- When new technologies cause great firms to fail, by Clayton M. Christensen. Harvard Business School Press, Boston, 1997).

Do the observations in the book have relevance to today's businesses?  Yes.  The lessons learned are yet compelling.  Christensen lists a number of companies in different industries that failed to stay atop their industries.  The important point is that these were not poorly run companies.  Indeed, these companies were well-managed, customer focused ones that lost market dominance.  Sears Roebuck (missed on discount retailing), IBM (missed on personal computer), Xerox (missed on desktop copier), and others are discussed. 

How do outstanding companies lose market share even when doing everything right? Breakthrough innovations (disruptive technologies) that are not used by their customers (yet) and hence not advocated by these high performing companies often cause the demise of these stellar firms.  What these successful companies were doing was to keep close to their customers, provide exceptional products and services, and thus missed out on the emerging opportunities.  They could not make the switch to catch the next wave of competitors.  The challenge for these world-class firms is that sometimes it is right to not listen to your customers, to invest in lower-performing products (with lower margins), and to enter small markets.

Christensen recommends understanding the difference between sustaining versus disruptive technologies to begin to avoid difficulties.  Sustaining technologies include improvements in products and services currently desired by customers.  On the other hand, disruptive technologies are products and services that may not be in demand by one's customers.  While disruptive technologies are not yet in the mainstream and underperform established products, these technologies are often cheaper, simpler, smaller, and often more convenient to use.  It is about price and convenience where 'good enough is good enough!'

In the face of this challenge Christensen says, "planning better, working harder, becoming more customer-driven exacerbate the problem.'   He offers four principles of disruptive technology: 1) Customers and investors control resources.  Hence, ideas that do not meet the interest of customers and investors will not be supported; 2) Small markets do not solve growth needs of large companies.  Hence, as disruptive technologies do not start with large markets, these would not be attractive to large firms; 3) Markets that don't exist (yet) cannot be analyzed.  Hence, it is not possible to provide traditional market research to define, nor justify moving into such undefined markets; and 4) The technology exceeds what the current customers demand.  Hence, the disruptive product will underperform (not be well received) in the marketplace.

Christensen details with a case study how an executive could succeed in the face of disruptive technologies.  He shows how to address the above four principles.  He says the solution to this dilemma is to create an independent organization with its own cost structure to succeed in the low margin market.  The size of the new organization should be matched to the size of the targeted market. 

Is this scenario still in play today?  Most certainly is.  Note the hospitals and large clinics and their decline because of increasing costs.  The disruptive technology in this case are the mini clinics springing up in strip shopping malls, in grocery stores and in drug stores.  They are taking away business from the large medical groups.  Is there more?  Just look for small service units at strip malls and see if there is a larger industry unit somewhere that is oblivious to the mini-units. 

What dynamic business today might face a similar demise tomorrow?

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

Your words can change a medical emergency!

Have you ever come upon an accident of any sort and you are one of the first persons witnessing it?  What did you do?  Did you try to help, or were you mostly a bystander?  If we are not in the medical profession is there something we can do other than call 911?  Absolutely!

I have to say that I was mostly a bystander in the few times I was close to an accident.  Two years ago, I took the Red Cross CPR/first aid certification so that I would be more prepared to physically assist minor accidents.  While this training helps support the immediate needs of bleeding, heart stoppage, and of breathing, it does not help the mental state of a victim.  It certainly does not help the healing process.

Because my wife is a Senior Chaplain with the International Fellowship of Chaplains and is focused on working with individuals with death and dying stress-related needs, she has books and reference materials handy.  The one book that got my attention was entitled, "The Worst is Over," or what to say when every moment counts (Acosta & Prager, Jodere Group, Inc. publishers, 2002).  I am studying this book carefully because I feel everyone should know 'verbal first aid.'  Why?  Because it is easy to do and extremely valuable.  Besides, "one day, sooner or later, someone you know will experience a medical emergency." A friend or colleague may collapse in a meeting.  A family member, spouse, child may experience mental or emotional pain.  Even with CPR training, there will be times when only the language of life-saving words will do, especially when you are the only person available or when you are waiting for medical help.

Knowing how to deliver verbal first aid can relieve pain and anxiety, speed up healing, shorten recovery and even save a life! The authors share true life examples where words led to improved healing and recovery.  One patient with a heart attack, while in the ambulance, was given verbal first aid as well as CPR support.  The doctor in the ambulance was trained in live-saving words.  "It looks like this fellow is going to be all right, doesn't it?"  The accompanying paramedic responded, "It looks like he's going to be fine."  Just then the EKG that showed an irregular heart rate jumped into a normal rhythm.  I personally observed a blood pressure monitor move rapidly from 90 to 60 beats per minute when a patient was being prayed over.  The concept that it is the state of mind that is critical in effecting one's physiology (body) has been shown.  If there is no expectation that healing will occur, then none occurs.  If there is expectation that healing will occur, the likelihood of healing is enhanced.  Apparently, what happens is that our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and imageries affect our biochemical (endocrine) system to secrete molecules that affect our physiology and healing potential.

In a controlled experiment in a Kansas municipal hospital, entering patients were randomly sorted into two groups.  In one group, they were provided standard treatment.  In the other group, the only difference was that they were 'recited' life-saving words.  After a six month period, the results showed that those provided the life-saving words were more likely to survive the trip to the hospital, had shorter hospital stays, and experienced quicker recovery than the those without hearing the life-saving words.

One reason words work in traumatic situations is that a traumatized person often moves into an altered state of mind where the subconscious, autonomic responses take precedent.  It is during this period that words can most affect the person.  It has been shown that speaking words of support positively affect pain, heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, bleeding, asthma, rate of healing, secretions, emotional reactions and more.  In response to trauma, the body works to regain control of traumatic situations, and any means to gain control is beneficial.  Thus, when life-saving words are spoken to such persons, the autonomic response works to stabilize the person -- to take control. 

Everyone can learn to help save a life by what they say!  According to the book, there are three steps needed to practice verbal first aid:  1) Generate rapport with the patient before communicating; 2) Give suggestions that provide pain relieve or that will stimulate the body to support healing; and 3) Create an atmosphere "to turn fear into hope and panic into calm."  When you encounter a person in need, you really only have three actions to take:  1) say nothing; 2) say something harmful; or 3) say something helpful that promotes healing.  While most of us might take actions #1 or #2, it is the latter that we should all learn to take.

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

The Ghost Map

The Ghost Map, a book by Steven Johnson (Riverhead Books Publisher, NY. 2006), tells the story about a devastating outbreak of cholera in 1854 Victorian London.  It is about the disease, the people, a map, and the investigation by two men who discovered the source of the spread of the disease.  

Johnson is a masterful storyteller.  He paints a vivid picture of London as a city of scavengers.  I can see and smell the stench as Johnson describes the lives of many, especially the bone pickers (finders of carcasses), rag-gatherers, pure-finders (collectors of dog dung), sewer hunters, night-soil men, and others – the underclass of London who lived in a world of excrement and death.  Johnson notes that the city had 2.5 million people in a space 30 miles in circumference, a crammed space with no public health department, no safe sewage removal, and no recycling.  In 1851, London was the most populous city in the world.  The scavengers played an important role in ‘recycling’ waste and discarded goods.  Johnson goes on to describe the need for recycling to sustain life, how manure replenishes the earth so more crops could be grown.  Human waste (night soil) was prized for use in fertilizing the soil for new crops.  Houses and other living establishments had cesspools in which waste was stored.  It was the night-soil men who would collect the waste.  However, since they were paid to do so, some landlords, unwilling to pay, ignored the overflowing cesspools which then would accumulate in basements and adjacent areas.   Yuk and yucky!  The idea that bacteria and other filth were invisible in the contaminated waters was unknown to the people.  They would collect the waste water, let the solids settle and then skim the liquid from the top believing this to be good for human consumption. Thus it is this part of London in which the cholera bacterium was spread among the citizens to infect many -- in the Garden Square neighborhood of Soho.

The main characteristic of the infection is severe diarrhea.  Death comes from dehydration.  What the bacterium does is multiply in the small intestine to form a mat on the inside walls of the intestine.  The mat confuses the intestine to discharge fluid instead of taking in water to the body.  As much as 30% of one's body weight is expelled from the gut during an infection.  This then causes the body to compensate, especially the heart to pump harder and faster to push a decreasing volume of blood to the brain. If fluids are not replaced, the heart becomes overtaxed and eventually quits.  It all started on August 28, 1854 when one little girl was stricken by cholera.  She lived at 40 Broad Street in the Golden Square neighborhood.  She vomited and passed watery green stool.  Her mother rinsed her daughter's diapers in a bucket and then tossed the fouled water into the cesspool in front of their house.  A leak in the cesspool caused the city well to become contaminated.

Cholera is spread by drinking fouled water, not by contact or aerosols.  Thus when drinking water is contaminated with infectious sewage, the disease will strike those drinking the water. In this section of London, 70 persons died in one 24 hour period and it soon became a ghost town with few people coming and going.  In 5 days, over 500 died.  Those who could leave left the area. 

Note that the bacterium (Vibrio cholerae) gets more virulent as it passes through multiple intestines so that a person can go from health to death within 12 hours!

In a systematic bit of detective work, a young physician, Dr. John Snow, was already studying cholera from a prior outbreak and found that it was not filth, poor living conditions, nor was it by contact that people contracted the disease.  In studying water sources he noted that most of the deaths from the prior outbreak occurred in people living in south part of London, where the water supply was nearest where the city sewage was discharged.  Yet, the mainstream medical establishment was fixated on the air as the transmitter of disease.  Snow firmly believed it was the water, but needed to prove it.  He examined the water, but nothing definitive could be found.  Together with a scientist, William Farr, they began to determine the victim's sex, age, elevation from sea level, and where they got their water.  He was in the midst of this research study when the Garden Square outbreak happened.

Snow began mapping the deaths and their proximity to different water sources in the area.  At the end, nearly 700 deaths (in less than 2 weeks) were recorded of people living within 250 yards of the Broad Street water pump.  Thus Snow was able to deduce the source of the outbreak by observing statistically unusual patterns that occurred during the outbreak.  Snow's theory was challenged by Reverend Henry Whitehead.  He started an inquiry into the outbreak to disprove the pump contamination theory.  Whitehead, who lived in the neighborhood, was no less determined and persistent in investigating the outbreak.  He had the advantage of knowing the community and getting more open input. Whitehead was able to piece together the picture that validated Snow's theory that it was the Broad Street pump that was the source of the outbreak.  Snow developed a map of the neighborhood, its wells (pumps) and the deaths to graphically depict the outbreak.  It is said that it was this map that helped Whitehead see the same pattern Snow did.

If you like a scientific detective story, history, challenging medical dogma, and systematic thinking, you should read this book.  It was a joy!

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

 

Beam me Up, Scotty!

Bruce Lipton, in his book, Biology of Belief (Hay House Publishers, 2005), believes that medical doctors and researchers need to pay more attention to energy-based medical treatments.  Lipton expects that this shift in focus will reduce the over 300,000 unintended deaths a year due to adverse drug reactions.

If we look at ourselves subatomically, we would find ourselves made up of a bunch of atoms floating around in electrical fields, the electrical charges keeping us from flying apart.  The science fiction televison program, Star Trek, had a special chamber that dissociated a person into electrical charges to be beamed to another location where they spontaneously reassociated back into the person.  'Beam me up, Scotty' was the signal to initiate this --  definitely a great way to travel through space!

Yes, our entire body is held together by charged molecules -- energy.  This leads to the notion that all of us have an unique energy signature that radiates from us.  Ever meet someone you immediately liked, that seemed to be on the same wave length?  Well, if we all exhibit unique energy fields, then it may be that those positive people encounters indicate a coherance of fields between you and the other person, i.e., there is harmonic resonance.  So what we term 'good chemistry' is in reality harmony between the two energy fields! "Were there sparks when they met?!"  There are also those encounters with people we feel antagonistic towards.  There is no resonance, just destructive interference. It is like there is a repulsion of energy fields.  On a larger scale, the in situ destruction of kidney stones is caused by the stones vibrating when the frequency of introduced energy waves match those of the stone, causing the stone to vibrate to the point of dissolution.

We already use energy to generate information from our bodies' systems.  Doctors use different scanners such as CAT scans, MRIs, and PET scans.  The energy sent into the organs cause release of energetic molecules which can be measured on films, like brain scans.

While the mainstream medical establishment has not yet embraced energy-based medicine, the belief that energy fields are influential in controlling our physiology and our health has led to a number of healing modalities that exploit this.  Acupuncture, massage therapy, music therapy, chiropractic and Frequency Specific Microcurrent treatments use electrical/energy pathways to treat different health issues.

As an extension of our electrophysiology, and the fact that our cell membranes are the sites of our responses to the environment with specific protein receptors to make those responses specific, it follows that electrical signals coming from the environment have specificity.  This further means that we do not respond to all signals, as different people have different receptors and respond differently to signals.  This leads to an interesting question.  Does every thought, even prayer, have specific electrical markers that will only be received by a person(s) who has the complementary receptors, and to no one else?  Additionally, do these environmental messages (signals) last forever since they are made up of specific energy units?  Can my grandfather's prayer for me 100 years ago show up today?

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

 

 

We are of Two-Minds!

Have you ever heard the phrase -- my mind has a mind of its own?  It's a reality -- we have two minds -- conscious and subconscious minds!  As you might guess, the two minds may not always agree with each other.  When that happens, life can be stressful and bad things can happen! 

Our conscious mind works to think conceptually, abstractly, set goals, judge, try new things; it has short-term memory and limited processing capacity (illustrated by the inability to multi-task beyond 2-3 things at one time.

Our subconscious mind keeps us alive and safe.  It monitors our body functions, heart rate.  It is literal and is sensory based and holds our attitudes, values and beliefs.  It has long-term memory with an immense processing capacity able to manage thousands of events to support our body's needs.  Our subconscious mind is continuously being primed by all our senses.

The importance of understanding our two minds is when the two are not in synchrony.  For example if we consciously decide to undertake a risky task or sport, our subconscious is cautious and unwilling to act, so there will be an internal struggle.  In the 1996 movie 'Shine' we find a brilliant Australian piano prodigy struggling with his subconscious as his conscious mind strives to succeed as an acclaimed pianist.  He has been subconsciously programmed by his father to avoid the spotlight because the notoriety will get him killed.  Thus as he plays in a competition to win, his subconscious fights his conscious mind to fail.  He makes it to the end of the piece and collapses.  He has a mental breakdown.  The conscious fight to keep from failing had taken its toll. 

In an experiment conducted with college students, one group was 'tested' with a series of rude words. Another group was 'tested' with polite words.  After their tests, participants were asked to meet with two testers.  When they arrived at the appointment, they found the two testers having a conversation.  Unbeknowst to the students, the conversation was a test to see which would interrupt the two testers first.  All the students exposed to the rude words waited about 5 minutes before interrupting the testers.  Surprisingly, 82% of the polite-word group did not interrupt the testers during the entire test period.  Exposure to the different word-sets programmed the subconscious of the students.  Further, the subconscious demonstrated influence on conscious actions.

The understanding that our subconscious plays such an important role in our conscious life reinforces our need to feed our minds with positive thoughts and images instead of negative ones.  This understanding also reiterates the importance to help children read, see, hear, and be exposed to life enriching experiences.  If not, our children will be at a disadvantage to live positive fulfilled lives.

These ideas are presented after reading "Biology of Belief" by Bruce H. Lipton (Hay House, 2005) and "Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson (Zondervan Press, 2011).

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

Where is your Mind?

Have you wondered where your mind is?  Is it in your brain or is it somewhere else?  I wondered to the point that I figured no one knew so I stopped wondering.  Well, there is research evidence suggesting that the brain is not where the mind is.  OK, we know where the brain is, so where is the mind?   

If the mind is defined as the organ that responds to environmental signals with specific and appropriate cell and body responses, then that excludes the brain as the mind.  The mind decides on actions to take.  The mind helps us move to take the action. The brain coordinates the actions.

The definition also excludes the cell nucleus, with its genetic material (DNA), as the mind.  The DNA does not have an on/off switch that is needed to control cellular and body functions. The genes however contain information to produce a response to an environmental stimulus.  That information on the genes is 'protected' by a protein coat.  When the body needs a specific response, a stimulus in the cell activates the protein coat to uncover that portion of the gene to allow synthesis of a needed protein product.  In other words, the genes are there to respond to signals from the cells -- and the cell receives its signals from the environment through its surface membrane receptors. 

While the brain does not have the responsiveness for a 'mind,' the cellular membranes throughout the body have such functional capability.  The short of it?  The mind of the body resides on the surface of cell membranes!  Furthermore, the mind works through energy fields to control our physiology and our health.

As more practitioners take on this new thinking that it is environmental signaling (and not our genetics) that controls our physiology and health, there will be more outside interventions that can help us heal, get well, feel good, and live long vibrant lives!  I am looking forward to learn more about this!  Hope you are too.

These ideas are exerpted from "Biology of Belief" by Bruce H. Lipton (Hay House, 2005).

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

"It's the Environment, Stupid!"

What controls our health, our biology?  Is it our inherited genes?  No!  We have been wrong since 1859 when Charles Darwin published "The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection."  With this publication, Darwin launched a quest by scientists for the genetic proof that our biology is controlled by indelible genes.  This concept, Darwinian determinism, has been the mantra for over 100 years and our textbooks and literature tell us that our genes control our lives.  As a former medical school professor (who worked with cells that produced specialized proteins (antibodies) that confer immunity to foreign substances), I, too, learned the mantra.  Scientists spend years searching in the DNA for specific genes, e.g., a cancer gene, etc.  This view suggests that we are not in control of our lives, that the genes we inherit from our parents dictate who and what we will become.  It implies that if our parents had heart trouble or cancer we will have it as well.  We just wait for the cancer gene to emerge!

Genes give us the structure and unique form of who we are, but do not control our biology.  The book, "Biology of Belief" by Bruce H. Lipton (Hay House, 2005) shows it's the environment that is the driver shaping our lives (biology), not our genes.  Lipton, a former professor of Cell Biology, systematically and convincingly presents the case for this 'new biology' that is diametrically opposed to Darwinian determinism.  Instead, Lipton suggests it is Environmental determinism.  The implications of Lipton's thesis are profound.  It means that we are not trapped by our heredity; we are not cursed by poor health experienced by our parents; it is not inevitable that we get cancer if our parents had cancer; importantly, it means we have more control over our health and lives than we ever thought possible.  Lipton does reference that only 5% of cancer and cardiovascular patients can attribute their diseases to heredity. 

The dogma resulting from Darwin's thesis was that DNA (genetic material, deoxyribonucleic acid) produced RNA (ribonucleic acid messengers coding for proteins) that leads to protein synthesis.  Lipton says that this DNA-centric view puts the DNA (genes) in control of our biology and he emphatically points out that this is wrong!  Scientists have known much of what Lipton shares, but have not articulated the fact that it is the environment that plays the dominant role in controlling our biology. 

The concept that the gene is in control is so very entrenched (textbooks, curricula, lay media) that it is difficult to change mainstream thinking. It has been widely assumed in the science community that DNA (found in the nuclei of all cells) is the brain for the cell.  A brain is an organ that senses and responds to its environment.  By referencing published science experiments, Lipton shows that the main function of the DNA is for reproduction of the cell.  In his colorful way, Lipton says that the DNA is not the brain, but the gonads of the cell!  If the nucleus/DNA is not the brain, then where is the brain?  By its function, Lipton declares the cell membrane the brain.  The membrane senses the environment and with its receptors and effector proteins sets in motion an appropriate response to the environmental stimulus.  There is a scientific discipline, Epigenetics, that studies the control of cell function outside of genetics.  Most interesting from these studies is the fact that we can change our genetics and that those changes can be transferred to our progeny.  As Lipton says, the primacy of the environmental signal over the DNA results in a sequence that starts with an environmental stimulus resulting in triggering regulatory membrane proteins that then activate the DNA, the RNA, and subsequent protein synthesis.  And proteins are the substances that serve as 'workers' in our bodies to help send signals, pass information, and turn on and off cells that produce other mediators that keep our bodies functioning optimally.

How do we humans develop our biological complexity?  It is with the several hundred thousands of protein molecules that mediate and generate our diverse responses.  It appears that even though mice and humans have about the same number of genes, our proteins' abilities to respond to many environmental stimuli far exceed those of mice. Why?  From epigenetic studies it has been shown that over 2,000 protein configurations can be formed from a single gene sequence.  That's diversity!

The bottom line?  If our cellular membranes translate environmental signals into behavior, then our environment plays the major role in controlling our biology.  This means that we have significant control over health and well-being situations in our lives.  We are not constrained by our genetics.  We can help ourselves and can no longer blame our inherited past.  Now that is exciting!  What does this mean in terms of medical practice, nutrition and health, existing diseases, people and places we interact with, or what we think and do?  New thinking, new treatments, new ideas, and new hope where there was none!  There is more to this story and I can't wait to learn it. 

© Baldwin H. Tom, Ph.D.
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

In A Pit With A Lion!

At the end of our lives, our greatest regrets will be those things we should have done but did not.   

Did you ever wonder how some people seem to have lives that are more energized than not, ones that appear to have interesting stories to tell, stories you enjoy listening to?   I have.  It turns out that if we do not live fully, we have regrets.  The most interesting lives tend to be lives lived with fewer regrets! 

Mark Batterson's book (Multnomah Publishers, 2006), "In a pit with a lion on a snowy day," tells the story of an ancient warrior named Benaiah who chased and then jumped into a pit to kill a lion on a snowy day.  Why?  We don't know.  Because Benaiah did so, he was later selected to be the body guard for a king.  Batterson tells this story well, and asks us to imagine what the king thought when he saw Benaiah's resume: "I killed a lion in a pit on a snowy day."   Benaiah later become the commander-in-chief of the entire army. The point of this story was to note that if Benaiah had decided to run instead of chase the lion, his life would have been very different. 

In nine chapters, Batterson tells about other lion chasers and teaches how we can be better lion chasers and live fuller lives. It is also a story about taking risks.  Importantly, it is a story about embracing uncertainty, as lion chasers are never certain what the outcome might be. The bottom line is that we have to have guts to step out in faith and chase lions.  "No guts, no glory!"  We need some offense in our lives, not just defense.  We need to be proactive, not reactive; not just playing it safe.  Lion chasers are always looking for opportunities and making the best of them -- doing the best one can with what one has.

OK.  We are not going to risk chasing a lion.  However, the moral of the story is that if we want to have a full life, we will need to take risks to reach for things we should reach for.  It may be to quit a job for a new one in another state, to start a business, to get married, or to have children.  In each instance there is risk because of the uncertainty of the results.  Risk provides complications and inconveniences.  However, when we embrace uncertainty that comes from risk, the end result can awaken us to a new life and unforgettable moments.

Embracing uncertainty has a lot to do with our perspectives in life.  Do we believe there is a purpose for our lives?  If we see no purpose, we will give up at a first set back.  If we do not believe there is a purpose, then any purpose will do.  If that's the case, we will believe our lives are controlled by circumstance and happenstance – random.  If so, the future is dependent on chance.  Well, I do not believe we are here just to wait for the wind of circumstances to move us about.  I know that everyone has special talents and inclinations.  Thus, I feel these inclinations, when embraced, will lead them toward their purpose -- their destiny.

Here is the challenge.  Faith and the willingness to lose some control in our lives is required in order to have the confidence to embrace uncertainty. When one steps out in faith, takes a chance and becomes a lion chaser, that single experience will change the trajectory of one’s life.  It certainly changed Benaiah's life from common warrior to becoming the supreme warrior! 

Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch survivor of the Nazi WWII camps, demonstrated by working on a needle point picture that our lives look a lot like the underside of a needle point rendering, a jumbo of threads and colors without a discernable pattern.  Yet the front side displayed a beautiful picture.  Christians believe that while we see a jumble of threads, God, from the outside looking in, sees the complete picture.  This means that not all our experiences (and lion chasing) may fit our perceived path (or make sense to us at the time).  Lion chasers are not deterred by gaps of logic, they just move on -- in faith.

Now that I understand the ‘secret’ to a fulfilled life, I have begun chasing more lions!

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

Living Forever -- Your Legacy

There is very little new under the sun!  I have blogged around this subject before (The Hyphen: Live to Die, or Live to Live?). Since I feel strongly about making a difference and not wasting time with our lives, I have taken another perspective on this subject. 

If you live life well and contribute to the welfare of others, you will live forever in the hearts and minds of those touched by your living.  Is your life lived such that others would want to follow?  Do you add or subtract joy from people, or do you multiply joy?

This blog is really about one's legacy.  What are you going to leave behind after you die?  I am reading a book by Mark Batterson, Soulprint (Multnomah Books, 2011) that is a guide for one to discover one's destiny, by identifying defining moments in one's life that provide clues to why each of us is unique. Thus far, I have found it valuable and thought provoking for me.  When I complete the reading, I will report on my thoughts.

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com

About Grieving Death

While our corporate Chaplain Madeline studies and works on her area of practice, counseling those in grief, I have been picking up different pieces of the study.  Thus I read one book that was a simple read, yet one that took some time to complete.  The book is Companion Through the Darkness. Inner Dialogues on Grief, by Stephanie Ericsson (Harper Collins. 1993).  It is a personal story written following the sudden death of Stephanie's husband and her years of grieving that followed.  It is a powerfully real book worth reading whether you have had to grieve recently or not.  You can help someone who is grieving.

From the Forward:  This book belongs to the grieving ...It is a book meant to ease the pain of significant loss.  Its aim is not to give false comfort, but validation for the long haul ... Its purpose is to allow the process of redefining the self to proceed ... 

Ericsson was pregnant with their first child and in Europe on business when her husband died of a heart attack back in the States.  He was on his way to meet her.

You really need to read this book to gain the perspectives Ericsson provides.  It is very valuable for anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one.  Ericsson says, "... mourning is the constant reawakening that things are now different.”  Thus it is about a new normal, about redefining the self because you are no longer the same person you used to be.  Your current life is suspended and priorities change -- "For what was eminently important yesterday is undisputedly trivial today."

There are few experiences in life that prepare us for the inevitable.  We are ill-prepared to see death as a natural experience, rich with potential for transformation and change.  When there were no medicines and life-saving equipment, people died.  In every family and neighborhood people died and we witnessed these.  It was a simple fact of life.  Today, death is not integrated into our growing up experience so it is a shock to us when death occurs.

Knowing about the grieving and the constellation of feelings, moods, thoughts, and actions that may be part of the process is helpful to better understand that grieving can sometimes make the griever appear uncaring

Ericsson writes about multiple aspects surrounding grief:  Not being able to read more than two sentences at a time; utter aloneness that razes the rational mind; makes what others think of you moot; makes you laugh at people who cry over spilled milk right at their face; discriminates against no one; makes a new person out of you.   There is guilt; sleep that eludes grievers; inertia -- don’t care, don’t wash, don’t eat, don’t move; disorientation -- lost somewhere between the past and the present.

I found this book worth a second reading to pull out the lessons shared to deal with death.  What did I learn?  Death of someone close demands an individual's very personal response.  Grieving is absolutely necessary in order to move from what was to what will be in positive ways. Grieving is not formulaic.  We will all grieve and recover differently.  No one can know what and how the griever feels.  Finally, death should be accepted as a fact of life so we are more able to grieve and recover and change for the better.

© Baldwin H. Tom CMC
www.tbgroupconsultants.com